One of the biggest concerns for divorcing parents is that their child or children will not handle the divorce well. Every child is different, and each family unique, and it can be difficult to predict how a child will react to this life-changing event. When parents divorce, it is going to have a big impact on children, so knowing what types of things indicate a problem, and what is normal behavior, can be helpful in helping to ensure your kids can emerge from the divorce healthy and well-adjusted.
Grades are Suffering
If your child’s grades in school are dropping significantly, it is going to be a cause for concern. In some cases, the slipping grades could be due to the significant change in schedule, which has thrown them off their routine. In others, it could be an early sign of depression or anxiety, which is resulting in them not caring about their grades as much. You can often work with the teachers to get their input and make the necessary adjustments to help your child get through this difficult time and begin focusing on their schoolwork once again.
Refusing to Discuss the Divorce
If your child refuses to discuss the divorce with you, your ex, or even a therapist, it can be a sign that they are having a lot of trouble adjusting. They may feel that talking about it would make it ‘too real’ so they stay quiet. Encouraging them to discuss this issue, even if they are only saying negative things about it, can help them to begin adapting more successfully.
Self-Harm
One of the biggest risks for children, especially if they are in the ‘tween’ or teen stages is self-harm. This could be anything from cutting to actual suicide attempts. Self-harm is very serious and is something parents need to watch closely for. If your child is refusing to wear a bathing suit, for example, it may indicate that they are cutting. Keep an eye out for scars or other unexplained injuries. If you suspect self-harm, you will want to get them in to a therapist who specializes in this type of thing as soon as possible.
Desire to Quit Sports & Other Activities
Children sometimes want to withdraw away from friends and activities that they once enjoyed due to a big change like divorce. If your child is trying to stop participating in sports, clubs, or other activities, it can be a sign of emotional trouble. Letting them quit these activities can also give them lots of time to dwell on the divorce, which can be unhealthy. Encouraging them to remain in these activities can be helpful.
Withdrawing from Traditions Developed Prior to Divorce
Similarly to the issue with wanting to withdraw from their own activities, some kids try to withdraw from family traditions that they associate with the family prior to divorce. These types of activities can bring out painful emotions, so parents need to work with their kids to help them to see that these events can still be very enjoyable, even after the divorce.
There is really no doubt that your kids will have a lot of emotions to work through during, and after a divorce. As parents, it is important to identify these issues, and take any necessary steps to help your kids through them as well as possible. At the Law Office of Ray Garcia, our team regularly deals with family law issues that face Miami families. Let us help you through whatever legal matter your family is facing. Contact us at (305) 227-4030 today!
Law Office of Ray Garcia, P.A.
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